It's a dog world

Being a dog is the best thing ever, I wouldn't trade it for the world. I get to lay around all day and watch t.v. I always have something to eat and I can use the bathroom where ever I want to. The only thing I don't like about being a dog is baths. I don't know why they give me baths when they know I'm just going to roll around in the dirt as soon as I go outside. I just hate being all wet and the soap they use makes me smell funny. Lets just face it being a clean dog is just not me, but being dirty on the other hand is undescribable. A huge puddle of mud is my heaven, I once got so dirty that I couldn't walk without mud chipping off and leaving a trail of dirt behind me. One time I escaped from the giant fence that keeps me contained in the backyard, I was only gone for about an hour until they found me. But wow, did I live up that hour, I ran all over the neighborhood, knocking over trash cans, barking at other dogs, playing in the mud, and stealing other dogs food. My owners fixed the hole in the fence pretty quick so I would unfortunately never leave again. Well atleast I had fun while I could.